Self-Image vs. Self-Esteem

I wrote about this a number of years ago, and published it in 2007. It is still as relevant today as it was then. You can’t HIDE their shortcomings from people to “avoid hurting their self-esteem.” This does them no favors. Liberals support doing this, and it’s wrong. The best way to help people is to let them know how good they are if they’re good, and tell them where they need work if that is true. Today, we often mistake “self-esteem” for “self-image,” and the difference between the two is TRUTH. Self-image is their own opinion of their talents and abilities, based on KNOWLEDGE, not by hiding the truth from them to give them a FALSE sense of superiority. Until we realize the difference, we’ll be hindering our children in their development. (THOMA$ Foundation for Motivational Research)

Smoking is NOT "An Addiction!"

It’s a habit. It’s one that is easily broken if YOU want to quit. There are too many people out there “enabling” your smoking by calling it “an addiction.” I smoked for 45 years, and at the last, smoked three packs a day, plus a few cigars. Then one day I got tired of it. I decided I didn’t want to smoke any more, so I simply never “lit up” again. I walked around for three weeks with an open pack of cigarettes in my pocket so it couldn’t be said that I “removed temptation.” I kept that pack until it crumbled to dust, then threw the dust away. My wife was probably the first to notice I was no longer smoking because she no longer had to empty those ubiquitous ash trays. The rest of the family probably figured it out when the place no longer smelled of cigarettes. I told nobody when I quit because I didn’t want any “help.” I never smoked again, and haven’t, to this day. Some years before I had stopped smoking for five years, just to prove to myself that I could. People kept telling me I couldn’t. I started again five years to the day later, because at the time I, personally, didn’t really want to quit smoking. But this time, it was MY decision to quit smoking, and I had no trouble. There WERE a few days at the first when I “hungered” for a smoke, but I was able to resist easily. I didn’t even use any of those ubiquitous “chewing gums”or other expensive ways you see advertised to get you away from “your addiction.” I just stopped, and I’m not sorry. I STILL enjoy the SMELL of someone ELSE smoking a cigarette, but, unlike other “former smokers” who are deathly afraid if they SMELL someone smoking, they won’t be able to resist smoking themselves, I am not “tempted.” People keep asking me why I still go into the smoking sections in restaurants. I’ll sit in either. I tell them it’s not a problem for me. You can do it, too--if YOU want to do it and are not doing it simply at the urging of someone else. That’s how “personal motivation” affects it. (Just common sense)

Lies and Misinformation

I'm really getting tired of the lies and misinformation being put out as truth by not only the media, but also by business in advertising. One such place is the emphasis on "self-esteem" in the media AND in various ads. Self-esteem is simply your opinion of yourself based on LACK of knowledge of your talents and abilities. They willfully HIDE such information(if it's negative) from you so you will "think of yourself as a beautiful person." Self IMAGE, however, is your view of yourself because of KNOWLEDGE of your own talents and abilities. Another area is oil. Even President Bush has been heard to talk about "our oil addiction." That's false! We are NOT "addicted" to oil, nor are we "addicted" to air, water, and fire. These are NECESSITIES of life! Without them, life, as we know it, would END. That is NOT an "addiction." Another is a political ad that says a certain candidate "has been named the most corrupt." By whom? Her opponent or his friends, of course. So listen to those who push such ideas with skepticism. (Just common sense)

Enshrining Mediocrity

Today in schools, they hold track meets, where they give "blue ribbons" to EVERYBODY who "participates" so as not to damage" the "self-esteem" of the students. They mix up "self-image" (which is your opinion of your own talents and abilities through recognition of the PROOF of them) with "self-esteem" which is the same, but WITHOUT proof. It is keeping from them the idea that they might not be as good as someone else. They think this will somehow "damage" them. What it really does, is "enshrine mediocrity." It makes everybody somehow "even." It does not. Those students know who won the competition, even if those who organize it will not allow it to be mentioned. This is one of the stupidest things I've seen liberals do, but they're doing it everywhere. They will not allow those who would excel at ANYTHING to do so. They say they want "an even playing field," but what they really want is for NOBODY to lose and nobody to win. If a company makes more money than another, they want to "move the goal posts" so that companies with less talented management are able to "compete." (This is not "competition") This kind of thinking removes all incentive to compete because the competitors know they cannot win, and they cannot lose. This is what socialism does: remove incentive. (Just common sense)

Are YOU A "Rainmaker?"

A "rainmaker" in a law firm is the one who brings in the most business. But the term works in all kinds of business, too. Are YOU a "rainmaker" in your business? Or are you someone who is "just there?" Rainmakers are the ones who make the most money because they are the most valuable to their employers (even if they are their own employers), which is why they make the most money. If you aren't a "rainmaker," resolve to become one, and your income will increase accordingly, whether you're working for someone else or for yourself. (Nightingale-Conant)

Shielding Children From Failure

What's behind the recent spate of mass killings? Some blame the easy availability of guns. That's silly. If guns were not available, they'd use swords; or knives; or baseball bats; or anything else that would kill. The availability of the means to kill has nothing to do with the motivation to kill. What's behind these mass killings is the "shielding" of our children from failure, which does not allow them to learn how to deal with failure and they blame others for it. The urge to kill those they blame is not far away. (Ray Thomas 101)

Self-Image vs. Self-Esteem

There seems to be a difference in understanding these days between "self-esteem" and "self-image." Liberals seem to think they need to hide negative information from people (mostly children) and get rid of competition so as to not hurt the "self-esteem" of children and others. This is not the way to help people live better lives. There is a difference between "self-esteem" and "self-image," and that is "truth." "Self-image" is your own opinion of your talents and abilities based on your learning and experience. "Self-esteem" seems to be your opinion of your talents and abilities based on HIDING the truth from you and keeping you away from ANY kind of competition. This will not work because it gives you a FALSE image of your talents and abilities, based on NOTHING. You must judge your talents and abilities based on TRUTH, not ignorance of shortcomings. The trend toward eliminating competition in sports is evidence of that. What is the PURPOSE of sports, except to allow "the cream to rise to the top?" What is the purpose of playing a game such as baseball or football if there's no score? Believe me, the players know the score, even if those in charge don't keep track of it. They KNOW who made the most scores, even if those "in charge" want to keep that information from them. The article linked below mistakes "self-esteem" for "self-image," but otherwise is mostly right. Those who want to completely eliminate competition and keep negative information from people to avoid "hurting their self-esteem," are wrong, and are systematically hurting the people they try and instruct. A good "self-image" comes from becoming superior at what you do, and by knowing it. It does NOT come from making decisions based on LACK of information about your own talents and abilities and by AVOIDING all kinds of competition. (Kid's Health,